Tuesday, June 29, 2010

World Cup Soccer: It's not the whole world, there's not really a cup, and don't they call it football somewhere?

Look, I understand playing soccer, or football, whatever you want to call it. It's fun. Even watching it live might be OK if you can get really, really drunk. But watching it on TV? Where would you put the soccer channel? Right between the "Watching the grass grow" channel and "Watching the paint dry" channel. My top three things wrong with Soccer?
1) Offsides rule (Heaven forbid the offense might ACTUALLY score a goal!)
2) draws (55% of games end in ties)
3) World Cup games in the same group starting at the same time so a team knows if it ties it can actually "win" and advance. This is really messed up.
+++Bonus: Penalty kicks: At the end of a basketball game why not have everyone on the teams get together and play "HORSE" for the victory. weird.
+++Double extra Bonus: Time. It counts time used up,not time left. I already know what has happened (which usually isn't much) And "bonus" time? The game just ends and everyone goes home and kicks their dog.
Oh, and don't miss the "exciting" World Cup final on July 11th. Or as most American's refer to it, Sunday

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